Love, love, love! I am not sure if it is some strange gravitational pull due to the moon or the recent passing of the viral Valentine’s Day, but LOVE has become the topic of the week. I am happy to announce that a large percentage of my amazing girls are involved in what might become or are promising relationships, and I am lucky enough to be living vicariously through them. Why do I have to live vicariously you ask? Because I am smitten with a chubby Englishman who plays computer video games and our only communication for the past year has been completed via work email (yes, sad). Therefore, I am going to be throwing a few of my girls under the bus for this installment and overanalyze their relationships.
We all remember Betty – the sweet, gullible divorcee, who has kindly let my mother and I invade her home. It has been a year after her divorce and she has started to date on line. This seems to have worked out for her – she has found herself a boyfriend. Or as she has described it, she has fallen down the rabbit hole and is intoxicated by love, or so she thinks. This is why we refer to her situation as the Rabbit Hole, because after two weeks of knowing each other, her man has already said “I love you!” And Betty has said “I love you” in response. I hate to ask the question, because I am constantly being accused of being a cynic and a hard-ass, but can you be in love after only two weeks? I will admit that Betty is an intoxicating figure and one cannot help but be drawn to her energy and positivity, but is that love? Love to me is dirty, it is mean and it is scary… okay maybe I am a cynic. To me, love is something you do not take lightly. Can you really love someone after only knowing them for two weeks? Infatuated yes, entertained yes, love – no! You can’t possibly know them. The funny thing about Betty’s relationship is that there are already red flags, but to her, a declaration of love after 2 weeks is not one of them. He speaks of coming from family money, selling imported cars and owning property yet drives a car not even a broke ass kid from Surrey would get into. How it passed Air Care I do not know. He owns a condo, yet lives in a low rent hovel with a roommate. Even if these are life choices to not spend money on superficial things and keep money in the bank, he doesn’t. He actually keeps his cash in large Ziplock bags in his room. Yes, you read that right. Betty has enquired if he is a drug dealer, to which he responded, no. But you know all drug dealers are a forthcoming and honest lot, so he must be telling the truth. Despite all this, Betty is an individual who lives for the moment and forges through life missing all the DANGER signs and has responded by saying “I LOVE you”. And she generally believes she is, and is ecstatic!
On the other hand, we have Hookah who is in a nice, caring, stable, hassle-free relationship with no huge wad of red flags wrapped in a Ziplock bag shoved under a mattress. Unfortunately for Hookah, she has fallen and it has become very real. She has what I would argue most are looking for - someone you care very deeply about. And it is scaring the CRAP out of her. Why you ask? Because now in a break up, it is no longer about being upset because you lost the idea of a relationship, or you missed someone sleeping beside you, or someone, anyone to go to that office function with you so once again you are not the single girl in the room. When you get to the point of love, you miss that person and no one else will do. It is no longer that they fill a checklist of what you are looking for – they actually take a piece of your heart with them if they were to ever leave. It is not a minor jump in emotional suicide. It is the jump off the bridge. And unlike Betty who is living in the crazy world of Alice
The hilariousness of Hookah’s situation is that she is a hopeless romantic and when single, I would listen to hours of her whining about wanting a relationship where she was in love and had that passionate chemistry, which at the moment she has. Ironically, and hilariously (for me at least), she is losing her mind!
I realize I may have been very harsh to Betty, her man and their love in my story because who am I to judge what love is and what one considers love? I have never told a guy I love them and I am thirty-two years old. This is most likely where my harshness towards those who I believe just throw around the word comes from. But maybe Betty’s Rabbit Hole is real! Maybe it is the great romance and it was meant to be from the beginning. Maybe I have been too quick to judge those who are free with their feelings and I am misinterpreting it as flighty as opposed to liberating. I could be watching a great romance unfolding before my eyes…. but I highly doubt it.
I feel my grounding on this topic comes from the fact that I was single for Valentine’s Day and was lucky enough to spend it with two people I really love - my mother and my sister. After working in a flower shop all Valentine’s Day watching men scramble into the store at the last minute and hastily throw their credit cards down to save face with their girlfriends, I was happy to avoid what I believe is a fraud of a day. However, my friends in relationships were not so lucky. Hookah, as I mentioned, had her great realization. Betty received $800 in jewelry which has her trying to figure out if this guy is lying about his situation or if he just trying to perpetuate a lie and if he is, what is his angle? And then there was a friend of mine in a faltering relationship which seemed to never end, but Valentine’s Day was the nail in the coffin. The man got her a Men’s Health Magazine. Seriously, he would have been better off if he got her nothing. Men’s Health?! Who does that? A man who was dumped on February 15th is who.
I do giggle when I hear all these stories and see these women who are generally rational and normal go insane and beat themselves up for it. As of late, I have been under a mountain of pressure to date from the people around me. After seeing what these women have gone through this week, I say no thank you. I’ll take sanity for now.
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