Soooo… do I have story for you. And for once, it does not involve something stupid that I did. I was just an observer. I was at a work Christmas party at a manager’s house last Thursday. Eight people were there, all with the idea of snow tubing and then dinner and drinks at the family table. He even arranged to have his wife take his small children out. Well, I am sure he did not anticipate what happened next. One tiny little Japanese girl, let’s call her Ducky, at 6pm began giving a guy (a work colleague, no less) a 6 hour lap dance, first in the living room, then at the family dining room table. Oh, and she is not cute, and he was not happy. I know what you are thinking: what guy does not want a 6 hour lap dance? A guy who does not want to get an erection in front of his boss at the family dining room table! Therefore, passive aggressively he kept moving her, giving her time outs, switching chairs, etc. She was basically trying to rape him sitting beside their boss. It was awkwardly fantastic! Anyways, Buddy is now a bottle of rum in and I guess decides after having his balls bounced on for the last 4 hours that he was going to get something out of it. They go down into the carport (sooo high school) where she drops to her knees. Enough said… until their boss goes to investigate why there is a draft and notices the carport door ajar, opens it, and is standing face to face with Buddy and Ducky sucking on his balls. Seriously!!! But that isn’t even the worse part. After THAT, they’re back upstairs and he is still running away because it is just plain annoying at this point. She gets on his lap again, and the rest of us are now ignoring this, basically throwing Buddy to the wolves. Seriously he needed to be mean at this point. They are sitting beside me, the rest of us are playing cards and she starts panting… sorry moaning. SERIOUSLY!!! His finger was in her POOPER, sitting right beside me.
The beauty of this all is this girl has been with the firm for about 3 years and I never really talked to her because I am judgmental and decided the moment I saw her that she was a bit suspect. I have totally received grief for it and have been told I need to give her a chance despite appearances. But Thursday I was vindicated, because if it talks like a duck, walks like a duck then it is definitely a slut!!! I wonder if she was applying for a new job over the weekend?
The unfortunate thing is I have been to many a party where I have seen women embarrass themselves by throwing themselves at men and getting rejected. But I have never seen it for 6 hours straight. I’m sure Buddy’ balls had some chaffing on them the next day from all that activity. Rumour has it he also had to have the cab pull over at a gas station in order to wash his hands because they smelled like fecal matter. How do you go back to the office after that? I wonder how many career changes have been prompted by the office Christmas party…
It is an unfortunate thing being a woman in a male dominated office, this example aside, because male or female this would reflect badly. But there is definitely a dominant view that is taken. For example, at this party there was a smoking hot 23 year old boy that was just hired. If I had taken him down in my cougardom, he would be getting props right now from the other boys for conquering something that has been off-limits since day one to the rest of them. Yes, the one rule that I have not shattered along my path of exploits is to not dip your pen in the office ink… that and my “me first” rule in the bedroom. However, if the situation was reversed and the gender roles reversed, the older being male and the younger being female, the props would also go to the man for showing the new girl the ropes, as they all pat themselves on the back. The double standard is still there at the office despite our ability to sell and add just as well as the boys. But they have come up with a reason for that as well. I love when my Regional Director actually thinks it is a compliment to say, “You know the women who make it in this business are the ones that act like men.” Yes kids, he means this as a compliment. And it certainly does not help when girls like Ducky behave as she did on Thursday night.
I suppose I shouldn’t be so hard on her because she singlehandedly brought down the curve when it comes to self-respect. I really thought I was the lowest girl on the totem pole as I sat there in Vegas watching porn half naked with a room full of boys I had just met while still staining the sheets (see blog entry from X date). But no, Ducky has vindicated me. On second thought, maybe I should lobby to keep her around, purely for self-esteem reasons of course!
